witness me

the funny thing being that i'm sitting in a cafe with the biggest steaming mug of chai beside me, having opted out of a rainy, muddy, monkey-filled rainbow weekend for the last few moments of beauty, serenity and comfort in my beloved home.  aaaaah, that just feels better.

the day after tomorrow, i embark on a spirit driven journey to a destination only physically known - the essence of the engagement is not work on the material plane, it is not community in the relational sense, it is none of the things that one would say, "oh, i am going here for this".  it is a directive that i follow because i want to, and because to not would be to deny the unfolding of destiny, and relegate myself to fate, the difference between destiny and fate being conscious participation.  spirit has spoken through my instincts and impulses clearly in these last moons (or, more to the point, i have finally grokked the fine art of hearing the communications), driving me to innertake, with total equanimity, strange and miraculous processes - buying a car, discording from my lover, burning the body of my beloved cat, packing up my mountain monastery, heading to the valley that held an earlier stage of this awakening by supporting me with just the right ratios of blessing and challenge for my alchemy to be perfect for emergence.  strange ways, these mysterious source forces, mysterious and brilliant.  opening deep and meaningful relationships, the likes of which i have been calling in for moons, only to leave them for this mysterious mission.  hmmmm, spirit - what'choo doin'?  yeah, yeah, of course i'm here, i'm just curious.  but i'm glad not to know.  there is something so deeply profound, so wildly mystical, so ravagingly erotic about being sent out in this way.  my wisdom teachers bless me and remind me of the essence, echoing from external forms internal words of being, knowing and guidance.  

i am held deeply within the cradle of love and the outspread arms of the great mystery as i journey, now potently joyous in this state of being naked in the storm.  this way is my home, my way, my medicine.  fierce, tender, arrogant, humble.  curious.  

so here, i pray.  i have learned much of praying in these years as i have learned to still and deepen my being, to allow grace to flow through me easily and without grasping, to experience the deep subtlety of universal essence as it moves through this vessel.

prayer is loving creation.  prayer is allowing creation to love me.  prayer is involving myself in the unfolding of the journey of the collective in the field.  it is calling upon the deep intimacy between my incarnate self and the source that creates me, directs me and is me as old friends call upon each other, not just in times of need, but in all times.  source is the original relationship, before even the mother.  the essential self must first delineate from source before it can travel the realms of potential to become a spirit, an embryo, a being.  prayer honors the reality that i am source, and that i am voice apart from source, so that we experience each other.

i give myself to what created me, and i create what i am and what this world is.

so witness me...  and in the circle that is cast, pray for yourself, your loves, your world, and then  celebrate

eastern morning, of innocence and new beginnings

southern day, of journeys, growth and learning

western evening, of arrival, completion, reflection

northern night, of rest, root, metabolization of wisdom

father sun, the life giver

mother earth, the life maker

sister moon, witness and regulator

infinite universe, field in which all things arise and flow away

from the center within

where all elements meet and dance

i call out in prayer

i lift my voice to you in gratitude, blessing and wonder

as the aeon, the universal child, i come to you

empowered and humble

wise and innocent

full of being

and empty

i cast for myself a circle in which to continue the holy journey of becoming

this is a circle i have sat often

and we have sat here together

here i know that we are one

and here i know the unique mystery that is this moment of "me"

for this, as for all things, i give thanks.

i come to you, this moment, great mystery, with prayers.

there are things i will ask for.  thank you for hearing me, and knowing me

for being me

and receiving my requests with an open love

may all my motions mirror this magnanimity

first, spirit, i pray for myself.

i pray to unify all that is fragmented in me into it's orignal wholeness

i remember that state in which i arrived, and i know that it is there for me to live in and be in again

i am ready for that.  so, so ready.

i am ready to channel that much energy all the time, and to use it in the way that it is meant to be used

i am ready to be completely accountable to and for my whole energetic reality

i am ready to fully and uncompromisingly arrive for this incarnation as an active member of the unfolding story of humanity on the earth

i am ready to live my destiny

i am ready to be as potent as all the storms of creation, in full view of the whole family of being

so please assist my journey of weaving all of me together again, instantly and for eternity

in the purest and best way

for the benefit of all creation.

i invoke and draw forth from the unmanifest into the manifest plane

a life experience of journeying through the world on the winds of music, ceremony, and dance

a life experience full of performance which is a weaving of ritual, music, dance and eternal wisdom

a life experience of creating the context for divine communion with the gifts of my voice, my dance and my word

i invoke and draw forth from the unmanifest into the manifest plane

the appropriate allies for accomplishing this work

the appropriate support for accomplishing this work

the appropriate energy for this work to be a nourishment for, and an aspect of, the awakening of the whole incarnate family on earth and beyond

third dimensional financial support for the process, ease of manifestation

in the purest and the best way

for the benefit of all creation

i invoke and draw forth from the unmanifest to the manifest plane

a rich ceremonial life

full of beautiful medicines

beautiful songs

beautiful places

beautiful traditions

beautiful kin and allies

beautiful ways and moments

a mentor to share these experience with, someone to reflect with and process with

a good companion to deeply mirror and complement me

a mode that flows easily through me, is clear and powerful and new in being

that i may offer as a garden of beauty in which all the world may dance

in the purest and the best way

for the benefit of all creation

i call forth continual communion with the animal kindred

the ancestors

other dimensional beings and fields of experience 

the deep, wild, subtle wisdom of the earth, sun, moon, and universe

the field of creation

source

 and essential self.

in the purest and the best way

for the benefit of all creation

i invoke and draw forth from the unmanifest into the manifest plane

a human experience of deep, interwoven community

based in, growing from and fostering in the world

honesty, integrity, personal power, transparency, health and wholeness

spirit(uality), divine communion, physical cultivation, wisdom, learning, growth and transcendence.

oh, yeah, and big love.  real love.  open handed, open hearted, love with integrity, respect, grace and beauty.

i invoke and draw forth from the unmanifest into the manifest plane

that in all these human relationships, there be a balance between the energies of the incarnate sexes.  between men and womyn, womyn and womyn, men and men.  

i invoke and draw forth from the unmanifest into the manifest plane

that everyone get over their bullshit behaviors by rising into the inherent perfection of integrity awaiting attention within each of us so that we can do more than process sexual and romantic experience as we journey through this time of ascension together.

in the purest and the best way 

for the benefit of all creation

i invoke and draw forth from the unmanifest into the manifest plane

a continuous open flow of prosperity in my experience

including financial nourishment

raucous laughter on a regular basis 

yummy sensual and erotic experience with emotionally balanced and mature beings of light essence

opportunities for artistic and energetic expression of my essence

opportunities for ever expanding and ever deepening learning on my path

and opportunities for ever deeper immersion in the mystery of being 

in the purest and the best way possible

for the benefit of all creation

mmmmmmmmm....  breathing deep, the ocean flows through...

so much gratitude, creation.  i hear you hearing me.

with deepest, joyous, humble, empowered gratitude i send these prayers out into the field

offering myself in service to creation

eternally

i am in service and devotion

to beauty

the prayers i make for my beloveds i will not speak to the world

those prayers are a gift of trust from them to me

and from me to spirit.

but in this moment, between the self and the world, we pray for those and that which we love immediately - our family and friends, our animal companions, the things which we often touch and are deeply kinnected with.

take this moment to pray for that within your own reality, as a i am now praying for that within mine.

breathe.....

and in this moment, deep mystery, i pray for my world

i draw into my heart all the energy and beauty of creation so that i may know,

in this moment,

that for which i pray.

oh beauty

you dance on the wind as the wings of a great bird in the universe's sky

you dance within me, moving my body and my spirit to rapture and grace

you dance through me, 

inspiring the beholder with that grace, inspiring yourself by moving me

you dance over me

chilling my skin to eros and i revel in the scents carried in your unseen currents

dreams and visions of far-away and very near places

times that i haven't lived and the many-layered moments of my interdimensional self

moments yet to unfold

dear, beloved beauty, i praise you by being you

by knowing you

by seeing, feeling, hearing, tasting and smelling you

devotion.....

yes.  boundless.

so, for the sake of beauty, and to the wisdom of the ages, i pray for this world.

first

so much thanks, deep mystery

for the tide of ascension coming into the shores of experience

through the quickening of the opening and awareness of the conscious self

through the quickening of magic and synchronous moments meant to re-calibrate the field 

from destructive chaos

to nurturing chaos

from madness

into balance and harmony

and for that tide arriving in the wisdom of the new people coming through

the new children are a brilliance to behold

learning, teaching and being at the speed of light.

so much thanks for this, great mystery.  thank you for making me an integral part of this becoming.

great mystery, turn your loving attention to the animal kindred

they are suffering a holocaust at the hands of humans

protect them

make them invisible to hunters guns and arrows,

guide them safely around traps

away from poison

and into the full, radiant glory of their inherent freedom.

hold them in light

great mystery

as they travel through their own trials of these times

ensure their survival

nourish, nurture and protect them. 

and whatever work is mine to do to ensure their wellness,

great mystery, do not hesitate to send me forth on their behalf.

with such infinite love i make this prayer.

so much gratitude for the animal kindred.  hold them in light all}ways.

and great spirit,

please attend to the sick and mutated beings amongst us

who wage war on any scale

who rape other beings

who destroy cultures, peoples and the earth

who live in and perpetuate pain

who dishonor self and other through murderous mentality

attend to their awakening

to their recalibration and purification

that we may all live a life of freedom, beauty and fullness in this world and beyond

in the purest and the best way

for the benefit of all creation

immediately and for all time

with deepest gratitude

and hold the great mother earth in her purest divine light of beauty

with all of her systems intact, even if they go dormant

nourish, nurture and protect her

and all of the life living on and through her

that we may continue to thrive in this most gorgeous temple of creation

in the purest and the best way possible

for the benefit of all creation.

with so much gratitude for the awesome gift of this life, spirit, i send this prayer out into the field.  i love so deeply, so fully, so boundlessly, in these prayers.  hear me, direct me, answer me.  so much gratitude...

breathe......   so deeply, breathe.  call in all that you see in the world and pray for it's purest form to emerge in the field.  give thanks to spirit for hearing you, for hearing me, as you pray.

and then, 

celebrate

AHO! great spirit!

i raise my voice in a song of cantankerous love!

i swirl and dance in the garden of miracles that we have created for all to enjoy.  

the light of the sun, filtered through a powdery cloud, landing on a woodpeckers wing as it hops up the body of the tree, peck, peck, peck, looking for bugs, is beauty almost incapacitating.

morning dew on the sacred grass, birdsong in the dawn, beautiful bodies frolicking in the summer sun, move me to rapture and madness most divine.  the kiss of cold water on sun-soaked skin, the boom of bass and sweaty bodies groovin' under starlit skies, songs sung at sunrise when i can barely keep my eyes open, i've already danced so hard - miracles!  gifts of the most radical caliber of creativity and brilliance!  i am drunk on the magnificence of living, the whole world spun up in my wild song and dance.  god is my playmate!  god is my me!  god is my lover, and we are reunited after a long journey has travelled us both across the seas of learning, and you know how good that's gonna be.  HAHA!

i am mad with love for this life, great spirit!

thank you for flowers

for coffee

for sunrise

for ayahuasca

for hot boys

for mountains and oceans

canyons and meadows

for animals and paint

for music and dancing

for everything 

for all that is this journey

for loving me

for being there for me to love

and for us being one.

so deeply, so fully, so fiercely, i love.  

great spirit

great mystery

great creation,

so deeply so i love

with utter devotion

complete humility

radical gratitude

and infinite openness

i send these prayers into the field

in the name of the light

the life 

and the love

for the benefit of all creation

from the source to the source.

AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!