yes, yes...
so it happens, today, that in the insurance office, i have what (if memory serves) is my first incarnate experience with an angel.
angels is not a concept that i relate to very freely. it's only been in the last few years that i've related to it at all, and it's been an archetypal relationship as opposed to a specific one. this is the way with me - i don't directly experience gods or goddesses, i don't travel into the pyramids when i'm journeying with transdimensional friends, i don't hear spirit in my head talking in english, none o' that. i experience pure energy, pure impulse, and every so often it dresses in a dress and feels like something more specific than pure energy.
so today, sitting in a little room in the blazing hot afternoon of a desert summer day, with the flourescent lights blaring and the air-conditioner plugging up my nose, to experience a full-on, white-light radiant angel was, well... very natural in a very strange way.
story }
i went to the state farm office to get insurance on my new car. i've not done much of this bureaucracy business in my life, having been a dedicated member of the house of fuck-the-system, so i didn't know what they were going to ask about or look for, but i wasn't worried. i am, however, tight with time for accomplishing rigamarole like this - i leave for a big journey the day after tomorrow. that's me, too. lots of things in the last minute, not particularly caring about what the state and the laws have to say about what i'm supposed to do. i've said to a cop who was asking me why i went over a fence that said "no trespassing", "i'm an animal. i don't read signs, and i don't follow directions if i don't think they make sense for me. i wanted to be in there, so that's where i went". that was an interesting conversation.
but anyway, there i was sitting in the office with my new friend jeremy the insurance agent who's also a musician and likes my tattoos, when he asks me something about has my license ever been suspended. "no", i say. that's not true. in that moment, without being fully cognizant of it and while i speaking that word, i called on whoever my assisting angel may happen to be to come sit with me and clear the field so that i could easily move forward with my work and my missions. in a strange tidal type of energetic, as this whole curiosity was unfolding on many different levels, the thought rose to the surface of my mind along with the awareness that that was a different thing for me to do as a presence arrived into my field. not arrived, materialized. there's a spot on my back where my energy is always spinning especially fast, as if the center of a chakra were sitting on the surface. as the call went out and the contemplation came with it, a soft internal touch began to emanate in that place. it was simultaneously warm and cool, solid and etheric, and it felt like the impression of a hand, but it wasn't a hand that was there - it was the impression of a hand because that's how i would be able to relate to the sensation. it was a golden energetic blooming in my back, a deep soothing presence of radiant light.
she grew from there, weaving herself in light from the touch of that hand, till she sat there next to me. with my eyes soft and pointed forward, i could completely see her in my inner eye. beautiful, smiling, long and beyond space with her form, the seeing her was an internal experience. i contemplated for a moment, "is this my imagination?" and the answer emanated that there is no difference between imagination and reality. imagination is the internal experience of all of the different dimensions of reality. imagination is a reality-crafting tool. i turned in her direction with the intention of seeing her, and my yearning faded her presence. the touch lessened, and i couldn't see anything. but when i looked forward again, softened my eyes and rested into the expanding moment, she was there as a complete sensory experience. her huge wings, so over-plumed that their feathers were more a principle of flight than a mechanism, radiated out from her body, and then our body, filling the physical room and then bending the dimensions of the room to continue expanding. have you ever felt that? that radiant stillness of universal expansion? it feels like the essential hum of being, flowing like starlight from nowhere to nowhere. all sound became muffled, the voice of jeremy far away from my body but completely present in my sensory experience, still asking questions which my form answered while my essence sat in the field of this being. she felt like michie, the essence of michie coming in this new form to guide the flow of the river for a moment so that i would be free in my motions. she moved the moments for us, smiling a soundless smile, speaking to me me in unheard wisdoms sent through my cells.
and then, just as easily as she had come to the moment, she went from it. and there i was, signing a paper for my insurance while breathing regular breath again.
we "concluded our business" in the ordinary way, and i went outside to my bike with the arid white hum of her visit around me. it didn't register for a moment, that "something had happened". it didn't register for over an hour, actually. and then it was a slow realization. that is remarkable unto itself, that it felt so completely natural to have an angel hold space for me in an insurance office. now i leap and whirl in the beauty of it, wondering and marveling at the beauty of it. it makes me so much more curious about my journey to california and the nature of the destiny unfolding before me. i've done a lot of praying in my life, done a lot of ceremony, been in a lot of hairy situations and sacred spots, and i've never experienced an angel like that before.
awakening happens in the most strange and wonderful places.
so much of my life has been hiding, has been resistance and polarization, has been refusal. i arrived here into this reality with a brilliant array of talents and beauties, and i've fought with myself and everything else about bringing them forward into manifest expression. polarization is a good word for it - i've pushed away what i've drawn in. a very frustrating way to exist.
i decided recently that i am done with that way. and for the first time, i completely mean it. there's a depth of conviction, a depth of shifting in the decision of that moment, that has allowed for my whole reality to shift. it is as personally monumental as the melting of the ice caps that dries the tropics and soaks the deserts. it is a fundamental shift in the attenuation of the being in its and to its experience in manifest reality. that shift allows for whole new realms of being to rise and fall as the tides of creations ocean. it allows for tangible experiences of transdimensional realities beyond the scope of whatever i've experienced before. it allows for angels in the insurance office, and owls flying in front of my car on the night that my cat left the earth to tell me that she was in good hands and good guidance on her journey through space to her own place in the continuum. it allows for specific premonitions and dreams full of messages. it allows for "leaping empty handed into the void" because my whole inner self says "yes" in a new way and i have no ground in rationality for what i am doing, but no fear. all this because i know that i am not just resting in the great mystery, i am the Great Mystery. and my pledge to honor, serve, love and represent it in this life has become true in the way that that can actually be what is.
beyond the idea into the being.
so i get called to buy a car, pack up my sanctuary and roll out to california. i set it all in motion. a book comes into my hands and i look for the ceremonies on line, find them, talk to the facilitator, and sign up for them with the completely fearless certainty that they will affect the whole tone of my reality and all plans are tides that flow in and out. only ceremony and fulfilling the essence matter now. everything else will be revealed through that journey. no attachments, no worries.
something more that i've realized, or something that i've realized more deeply} up until now, i have experienced the world and reality predominantly through a mode of resistance and polarization. not solely, but predominantly. so i've formulated my value system and my worldview based on the information gathered through this lens. but in this moment, my roots have shifted. i don't know anything now, because what i could say about what i know or feel is based on a perspective that i'm not moving through. my whole ground of being has shifted, and i am, in this moment, as the aeon. i am the universal child, infused with the wisdom of the ages whilst completely innocent.
i am free from the past, and free from the future. i am infused into the moment and the moment into me.
freedom is an internal reality that then arises in your external experience. just like everything else. we are truly creating reality every moment because we experience, inform the field, then experience and inform the field, and we have been doing this since we came and before. we are the creators and that which is created. this is not an idea. it's a fact.
so call on angels in the office, allies on the mountain, guidance through the grocery store to the chance encounter that will change your trajectory forever. mysticism is not something that happens somewhere - it is what is, only awaiting your awareness.
thank you creation
bless
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